498A abuse

A 498A Survivor : Filing divorce for Men in India is not only dangerous but outright toxic!!

His wife filed a criminal case on him and his elder sisters only because he sought divorce because of her unreasonable demands. He was incarcerated for 10 days because of this alleged crime. He lost his job, career and peace. But he did not relent. He fought and he won. Read the story of another man falsely accused under 498A, whose life changed forever due to law abuse. I have not mentioned the person’s name as it might affect his pending litigation adversely.

1) Share with us your case in brief. Like when did you get married, why did things fall out and reason for 498A.

I got married in February 20**. It was an arranged marriage. They responded to our advertisement in newspaper seeking a suitable match for me. My native place is located at suburban ******.  My wife’s paternal house is located around 18 kms from my native place. I had been staying out of my state for last 15 years.  Before marriage, I made it clear to my (would be) wife that I would remain outside my state till I take retirement from service. Simultaneously, I also requested for her passport to be made as I explained to her that during the course of my service, we may also relocate outside India. I also shared my plan that post retirement, I am definitely going to come back to my native and stay there. She did not object and was in complete agreement, throughout. We got married and after spending six days at my native, we relocated to *****, where I was posted at the point of time. We went for honeymoon and came back. Things were good till she started insisting that I should relocate to our native, close to her paternal house.

I was shocked when she said that her father has told her that after marriage husband listens to her wife and it would be easy for her to force me to relocate as per her wish. I did not agree to her proposal for obvious reasons as it did not suit my career plans. More so, I felt cheated as we frankly discussed everything before marriage and she did not object at that time. This relocation became a major point of disagreement and finally culminated into issues that lead her to file the case u/s 498a & 406 with false allegations against me and my married elder sisters.

2) Your case involves unreasonable demands by your wife. Please elaborate on that and what did you suffer as a consequence? Was there abuse and violence involved when you disagreed with her or did not bow down to her demands?

In the year 20**, the organization I was working for at that time, nominated me to work from their US office. They processed my work permit (H1 Visa) and I was supposed to relocate with my wife next year. I shared the same info with my wife. She agreed but put forward her unreasonable demand that I need to take my parents-in-law along with us. I tried to reason with her that technically it is not feasible at that point of time. However, she was adamant that either I should take my parents-in-law along with us or I should give up this opportunity. She further insisted that she is not ready to stay with me at place of my posting at that time as well if her parents don’t stay with us otherwise I must relocate to her paternal house. She was pregnant at that time and unilaterally declared that I and my family members would not be allowed to see the baby till I agree to her demands.  Her parents in concurrence with her warned me that there would be legal consequences as I am spoiling their daughter’s life and my sisters’ married life shall not be spared too.

Prospect of rewarding career opportunity being vanquished in bud before it could have blossomed, imminent threat of criminal cases on self & married elder sisters that could put their family life into complete disarray and ultimate deprivation in not being allowed to see own child, made me suffer severe mental agony which is inexpressible by words.

3) Who all were implicated in your cases and what were the main allegations?

My elder sisters and I were implicated in the 498a/406 case. Both of my elder sisters were married prior to our own marriage and were settled at their matrimonial home at different cities. The allegations were like this – My elder sisters used to advise me over phone, to commit physical and mental torture on my wife and I used do such torture on her. I used to keep her confined in a room. I did not take proper care of her during pregnancy. I did not provide her with food and medicines and I did torture on her by taking her for checkup with doctor, multiple times.  I used to force her do all domestic works. I did not allow her to talk to her parents over the phone. I throw water on bed and forced her to leave the bedroom.

4) Did you have to go to Jail? How did that impact you as a person?

Yes, I was taken in judicial custody. I spent 10 days in custody. It is difficult to gauge the impact though I can say for sure that something inside me changed for ever. I would not be able to get over the ignominy and social stigma of being in jail for rest of my life. My reputation, reputation of my family name got ruined.

5) Please share the absolutely bizarre things that happened in your case – any allegation or lies beyond expression…

My wife alleged that my sisters advised me to force her to go for regular medical check-up by different physicians during the period of her pregnancy and this was nothing but torture for her. Regular Medical check-up during pregnancy is normal and advised by Doctors. However, my wife alleged such check-up as torture and cruelty on her as contemplated under section 498A of the IPC. I filed for divorce from her and she alleged that such divorce petition was mental cruelty on her as contemplated under section 498A of the IPC. The right to marry or being aggrieved pray for dissolution of marriage is borne out of civil rights and cannot be construed as criminal offence but still I was charged and tried.

6) What’s your opinion on a husband filing for divorce in India? Do you think it’s highly dangerous? Does he have any options?

Arindam AcquittalA husband can always file for divorce but under present legal scenario in India, he needs to realize that by doing so he is opening the flood gates of legalized harassment and extortion on him and his family members. On a counter blast he shall receive all kinds of cases, the judiciary is going to look down upon him and penalize him at every step and his woes are not going to end there. He will be alienated from his child. He may end up losing is job and further get penalized for his inability to fulfill exorbitant demands of maintenance. Filing divorce, for Men in India is not only dangerous but outright toxic. And most importantly, there is nothing like a contested divorce for Indian men. Under present family laws and related legal setup, a married Indian man is a sitting duck in case his marriage is on the rocks.  It doesn’t matter if he is at fault or he isn’t. Invariably he will be considered as the perpetrator of marital violence and his wife innocent victim of such atrocities.

7) Were there any demands made by your wife to settle these cases? What were they?

Yes there were demands. I need to compromise. I need to be in control of her and her parents. I need to stay at her paternal house.

8) When did you decide that you will fight? What made you take that decision?

My wife left the matrimonial home in my absence. After giving birth to our child, she did not allow me to see the child and threatened me with more cases if I attempt to visit her and the child without agreeing to her demands. I received a severe emotional jolt that helped me firm my resolve to fight against this legal terrorism.  Simultaneously, I got in touch with SIF (Save Indian Family). After talking to fellow SIFIANs, I got the courage and the resources to take on the ‘Legal Terrorists’.

9) How did you fight? Any advice you have for people who are fighting false cases?

This fight is more against self than anyone else as it is 90% mental and 10% legal. First and foremost I had to lose fear. I realized that nothing worst can happen to me. I equipped myself with legal knowledge to be in a better position to tackle and navigate through the legal cobweb. My advice would be to keep things simple. Be confident. Be fearless. The case is false and you need not to do anything but speak the truth. Rest all will be taken care.

10) You won your battle relatively quickly. How did you manage to do that. Any advice for people who also wish to get quick justice?

Before everything, I had to make up my mind that I am going to end the criminal case and not let it linger. I studied the different remedies available vis. a vis. time required and concluded to stand trial as it came out as the cheapest and quickest way to end this ordeal. As the trial commenced, I had a two pronged approach. I sought speedy trial before the Court and simultaneously worked in the background personally, to remove all the possible latches which normally is taken care by advocate’s peon or juniors. My advice to others would be having proper communication with advocate by giving clear instructions. Don’t miss court dates. Be present inside the court room and raise your concern, if any in a polite manner. It’s your case and you need to take control of it.

11) You lost your job, very precious years of your life and also opportunity abroad. Who would you blame for that? Do you think anything can makeup for that pain?

I would blame my wife’s lawyer who ill advised her to file this criminal case, the Learned Court which took cognizance without applying its judicial mind as mandated by the law. I blame the legislator of this country to frame such a law which is so easy to be misused and absolutely no consequences on misuse. I blame my wife for not being honest with her intentions before marriage. And lastly I blame myself for not being informed enough to know how easily my life can be ruined by being married under present legal system in India.

Nothing can makeup the loss I faced. But Yes my pain could have been alleviated to some extent if the court while declaring the case against me being filed with “malafide intentions” and was “abuse of the process of law”, would have also created a precedent by ordering appropriate proceedings against my wife, which would passed a message to the society that such misuse would not be tolerated in future. It would have spared a few innocent lives in the future.

12) Did the judge even after writing so clearly that the case was false, announce any punishment for your wife whatsoever?

No. No punishment was ordered for such gross abuse of the process of law.

13) Do you think that’s an injustice to you?

I would not stop at calling it injustice but it is a tight slap on the face of the judicial institution as unscrupulous people get encouraged when they observe their misdeeds getting unpunished. And honest people lose faith and respect for the institution itself.

14) Now that you have won, what are the future plans?? Have you become scared of marriage?

I have won the criminal case only. There is a pending case of maintenance and divorce. I have a child too for which I intend to seek physical custody. Winning the criminal case automatically doesn’t put a favorable end to the other cases. I need to go to each court and re-establish my innocence. Such is the system.

I may still have to end up paying maintenance to a wife who admittedly filed a false case on me.
I may still be alienated from my child without any fault of mine or the child.

I am scared and scarred. My ability to trust is the ultimate casualty.  I know that all women are not at fault. But I do not know how to identify the woman who won’t misuse the benevolent provisions of law when there is absolutely no consequence for such misuse.

However, I do see some light at the end of the tunnel. My association with SIF has given me a new found purpose in life i.e. to stand by the side of the men who fall victim to such legal abuse and share my experience to help them overcome their hour of distress.

Excerpts from 498A Acquittal JUDGMENT of this 498A Survivor:

“Before parting with the instant, case it is apt to mention here that PW1 has equivocally stated in her evidence that she has lodged this case as a counter blast to the mat suit lodged by her husband. Had he not sent such notice of divorce suit she would not have lodged this case. She wish to stay with him and lead her conjugal life. Thus, in such circumstance and the poor way in which she has fared cross-examination, it appears that DC has intentionally and in a motivated way, to settle a civil dispute (divorce), abused the process of law and set the criminal law in motion against the hapless husband and his poor family members who happens to be his married elder sisters with an impression that if a person could somehow be entangled in a criminal prosecution, there is a likelihood of imminent settlement by applying pressure through criminal prosecution. This establishes the malafide intention of the DC as she lodged the police case against the accused person(s) as an alternative to be used as leverage to settle the (civil) dispute that arose with A1 seeking divorce from her. The DC has cited the divorce suit filed by the A1 as a mental cruelty u/s 498a of the IPC. A free citizen of India, enjoys a civil right to marry of his choice or being aggrieved, seek divorce through dissolution of the marriage. Such exercise of civil right to seek divorce cannot be construed as a criminal offence. Any effort to settle civil disputes (divorce) and claims, which do not involve any criminal offence, by applying pressure through criminal prosecution should be deprecated and discouraged. The DC has alleged cruelty done by sisters-in-law who admittedly were married prior to DC’s own marriage to A1 and were settled at their matrimonial home at Chinsurah and Jadavpur. The bald allegations made against the sister in law by the DC appeared to suggest the anxiety to rope in as many of the husband’s relatives as possible. The sisters-in-law had never lived with DC and her husband, A1. Their implication in the complaint is meant to harass and humiliate the husband’s relatives. This seems to be the only basis to file this complaint against the married sisters-in-law”

Editor’s Note: The Judge has not passed any directives for any kind of punishment/fine/ to the wife in this case or a compensation to the husband. Two women who were married had to suffer a criminal case for no fault of theirs but that also doesn’t warrant any action on the woman who filed this case. If laws are allowed to be such blatantly misused, this entire quest for equality is a fake facade.

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He is fighting his battle of Marriage. He is winning it Step By Step….

When you fight a battle against your wife – you are not fighting her, you are fighting against an entire system that is framed against you. Here’s sharing from a man who got 498Aed in his second marriage. He did not lose despite losing his father to it. He chose to FIGHT. And he is winning it slowly. If you are fighting one of your own, read this and choose for yourself.

Disclaimer: I am not revealing the identity of this man since he is yet to win his 498A. But it’s a story worth sharing. We would bring his interview again once he wins the last leg of this battle too. We are sure he would!!

 

1. Share with us your case briefly, when did you get married, why did the marriage break down and when were the cases filed.
Mine is a 2nd marriage. First wife had an affair with a colleague in her MNC. She went abroad, never came back. Came to sign MCD(mutual consent divorce) only. Married 2nd time in March **** in ******* , and got married to a 498a girl i.e. she filed full package on her first husband too ( i was unaware of all of this as even i do not know that there is something called 498a in this world. Anyhow, got married with her. She started her tantrums from day1. She wanted me to take liability of her mother permanently and spend money on her. I got job in 6 different countries with excellent package, but her mother interfered and wanted to join us on DEPENDENT Visa. I insisted to take her mother only on Visitor visa for short duration but my wife and her mother were forcing me for Dependent Visa, which triggered them and they created ruckus at my home 2-3 times, called neighbors and my father could not tolerate this and one day he passed away due to cardiac arrest. After 20 days of his death, she filed 498a FIR in *****. Then after 14 months of separation she filed DV(Domestic Violence) case. Above all she has a daughter from her first marriage, i was ready to accept her daughter. She wanted my parents either to transfer the property to her and kid or declare them as Legal Heirs via civil suit. She prepared the civil suit documents which we even accepted to sign but her over aggressiveness alerted us and finally my parents denied to sign the documents. This was also the reason for filing of 498a. Infact i got her kid admitted in top notch school at Gurgaon, paid almost 1.2 lakhs and still 498a was filed on me and my mother.

 

2. Was a 498A filed on you as well? If yes, how many family members of yours were implicated? Did you have to go to jail? How long and how did it affect you as a person?
Yes 498a is still going on . It is at evidence stage. Me and my widow mother (67 yrs old) have been made accused. Yes, i surrendered. I spent 3 nights in Jail. As a person it made me strong and now i cannot trust any woman. I took a decision to fight each case and not to surrender in front of legal terrorism.

 

3. Were you asked to settle the case by your wife? What did she demand to settle?
Yes, 50 lakhs. She took 6 lakhs from her first husband also.

 

4. When and why did you decide that you will fight? Is it easy to fight?
After filing of FIR, when first time my bail got rejected from Lower court on baseless allegations, I decided to fight this nonsense. No it is not easy to fight. One needs to devote time, as i do not depend on my lawyer. 95% work is done by me and 5% by my lawyer. Its a time consuming and moreover being a part of IT industry, i hardly get time. Still I am managing it anyhow by working 20 hours a day almost.

 

5. You have recently got your domestic violence case dismissed in the court of law. How were you able to achieve that?
The petitioner i.e. wife did not came to court even once. I started taking plea in front of judge to dismiss the case in default. After 3-4 hearings the hon’ble judge dismissed it in default i.e. DID. After this she filed an application to re-open i.e. restore the case which has been dismissed recently on merits.

 

6. What would your advice be to the people who get a false domestic violence case filed on them? What are the important things to be kept in mind to prove your innocence in these cases?
Important thing is to fight case on merits. Do not lie in courts and bring your good deeds in front of judge and show her bad conduct to the judge. It really helps even in getting dates from courts as per one’s wish.

 

7. In a lot of these cases, women demand maintenance despite being educated, qualified and earning themselves. Does the court look into merits of the case or DV orders are also passed in a mechanical way?
My case did not go to such stage, but i have noticed that DV orders are passed in a mechanical way IF the respondent i.e. husband do not fight the case properly, There are lot of strategies which needs to be adopted to bring the truth in front of Hon’ble judge. If one depends on lawyer, he is surely gonna fail.

 

8. What would be your generic advice to people who are implicated in false matrimonial cases? 
I have been actively involved with activities of SIF(save indian family). After fighting my own cases and meeting so many victims of false cases, my advice always is to FIGHT the case and not to settle at any cost. Fighting actually brings down morale of the girls parents including girls and they sometimes come to settle cases on 0 settlement.

 

9. How do you feel with this small victory of yours? Is it better to fight or settle the cases?
Victory always feels good. This is the 4 time we have tasted it. First my mom won Permanent Injunction suit. Then my wife filed a case to get my passport impounded, which i fought PIP and i won it in court as well as in RPO(Regional Passport Office). Then she filed DV which was dismissed i.e. DID and then she filed restoration which has been dismissed on merits.

 

10. What has been your biggest learning point in this journey? How have these cases changed you as a person?
Biggest learning point is not to trust WOMEN Blindly. Its a part of misandry to trust females without knowing them. Yes, absolutely i have learnt about the law of our land and got to know how our biased system works. And i took decision to always help others in their fight against false cases.

 

Editors’s Note: It is a common observation that in a lot of matrimonial disputes, complainants themselves do not appear in the court. I wonder who is asking for Justice here? When the complainant herself is not bothered about her complaints one can deduce the seriousness and veracity of that complaint. Irony is courts keep on giving dates after dates even if the woman doesn’t appear in courts. Failure of appearance by the man’s side however can lead to many repercussions. If this is not bias then what it?

A man can DIE but not DIVORCE

After my TEDx Talk I have been flooded with mails by victims of false dowry cases, rape cases, relationships gone bad and much more…..Here’s story of a young software engineer whose career, life, his father’s job are all at stake because he does not want to live with a woman who has caused so much misery to him and his entire family. Identity kept confidential to avoid any repercussion.

***************

Hi Mam,

I  came across through your articles, videos about misuse of 498a on social media & decided to write about my case to you. My name is ****** , age 23yrs. I am from *****, Rajasthan. I am a software engineer.

I & my wife stayed together in ****** for only 16 days after marriage. One day we had some argument because she locked my younger sister & went out for 3-4 hours while I was in office. Next day she called her brother & returned to her home.I tried to communicate her but she changed her mobile number. My parents tried to talk to them but they put some illegitimate conditions ahead of us , main of them are-

1. Fixed deposit of 5 lakh in favor of my wife.
2. I should work only in her hometown or her parental house not at the city we were living in etc etc
I was unable to fulfill their demands because all money we had was spent in marriage & there is no good IT company in *******. I filed Section 9 to bring her back but she lodged complain in Women Commission. Police called us for talk in evening, we requested them to do it i morning but girl’s father refused.When I entered police station Circle Inspector threatened me to satisfy her demands & said nobody will be able to save you. But I refused. Then her father, brother started shouting & police arrested me & my father in Crpc 151 for breach of peace & advised my wife to file the case.
After they filed the case they tried best thing to get me , mainly to my father , a Govt employee to be arrested, as it would result in his suspension. So we left our home & started hiding. Meanwhile I was terminated by my company as I was absent. Lawyers were on strike so my brother in person applied for Anticipatory bail of my parents & we got it. After it they were very depressed as they wanted to send my father jail. Now my wife started saying in the court that she wanted to go back to her husband.
On hearing of my Anticipatory bail Judge tried to pressurize me to keep her with me but I refused. He  became & angry & rejected my Anticipatory bail on ground of my refusal & attitude.
Now everywhere she is saying to come back so I agreed to take her from her home in hearing of 482. When I reached her home. Nobody even asked me to get in their house. Feeling insulted I returned. Next day in High Court  she came in saree with bag & said  she was  ready to go directly from court with me.When I started telling about what happened when I visited her house to take her.  Judge asked me if you want to keep her take her now ” As obvious I refused because it was a drama by her only before the court.
Now everyone is accusing me why I’m not ready to take her back.Nobody listens whatever reasons I give.
I have written a letter to President & chief Justice of India about impact of the grounds of my bail rejection which was My refusal to take her back.
But nobody has replied to me. Now taking example from my case everyone in Rajasthan has accepted that if you refuse to take her back before the cout they would reject your Anticipatory bail application.
Thanks for reading my email And sorry if I wasted your precious time.
**********************
My two cents: Women rights activists say that a woman’s life is more important than the marriage. Her right to divorce paramount and that too with a compensation because it is not easy for a girl in India to get married. I have a Question – then why is it forced upon a man to continue living with his wife even if she is abusive and ill treat his parents and file cases on drop of a hat? what exactly would you call this demand of deposit of 5 lacs as a condition for her to return? Is this not dowry? Why can a man not take divorce in India without having to face 498A , domestic violence act, 125 and many more cases or he continues to be with a person who he does not want to be with ? Is it a cake walk for a family to get their son married again? We live in a highly misandrous society where the blame of a failed marriage is always put on the man. No matter how wrong the woman is, it is she who gets all the sympathy. Moreover, a man who has gone through so much just because of a non workable marriage, he thinks hundred times before marrying again. In this case a boy barely 23 years of age.
Sadly, parents of girls today are so angry for reasons best known to them that they think that the husband and his family are their slaves who they need to manipulate as per their whims and fancies.
If this continues, no sensible young man would marry in this country. We are surely headed for worse times for Indian Women. Cases will only sour and their conditions worse as they expose themselves to a world that leads to justice to apparently no one but the powerful!!
Disclaimer: This is an email sent by the victim. There is no reason for me not to believe this man’s words. This is not one of case but this is happening all across where parents of the girl keep conditions on slightest disagreements. Marriage is a relationship that both partners maintain by mutual trust and understanding and not one putting conditions on the other and making the other a slave. If you wish to share your story with us, write to martyrsofmarriage@gmail.com

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO “MARRIAGE IS A SACRED BOND”

Marriage & DivorceToday I spoke to a 72 year old retired army man who has been fighting for JUSTICE for last 13 years. His Son who was falsely accused of a dowry case died of a heart attack. A young man who could not see his parents suffering so much because of his failed marriage. This family spent 29 days in Jail. Immediately after coming out, Mr. Jain started his battle against false cases on him and his family and continues to fight til date, even though he and his family were honorably cleared of all the charges on them. He has made sure that everyone – the girl, her parents, the cops who conspired with the girl, judicial officers who lapsed in their responsibilities are brought to trial. In my conversation with him, he stressed on the fact that it’s a personal battle and no lawyer would fight your case as seriously as you can. I would be posting a detailed conversation with him later, but here’s a document that he has prepared which is extremely useful when one is fighting 498A or generally also for every man’s family in India who can be made accused in these cases with allegations FLYING IN THE AIR without ANY evidence on ground or ANY truth in them. They say marriage is a sacred bond. But in today’s time, marriage is anything but SACRED. All those who have a stable marriage (sounds such a cliche with all the compromises people make to keep it stable) must thank their stars or adjusting capabilities but the fact is – Marriage today has become highly materialistic and a bond of Convenience and Comfort. The day it comes across a rocky patch, it can Kaboom. And when that happens, BOY and his family can have it REALLY REALLY HARSH. So here’s a compilation of DO’S by this FIGHTER who despite his age is FIGHTING BACK like a young man and making sure that JUSTICE happens. What he has LOST can never come back, but he is surely an inspiration for me and I am sure would be for many!!! HATS OFF SIR.

———————-

TIPS FOR SURVIVAL FROM FALSE  498A

(Compiled by Aar Ess – rsjainn@yahoo.com)

MY CASE BRIEF :- A false case u/s 323, 342 , 307 , 406 , 506 , 498 A  & 120B IPC was registered by my ex daughter in-law at PS City Jind (Haryana) against me , my late son  & my wife. We both are Sr. citizens , residents of Baroda & she resided in Ahmedabad (Gujarat) . We all the three were arrested from our house at Baroda by Haryana Police , handcuffed & put into the lock up cell at Jind . Truck load  of our costly goods were seized & taken to Jind on the pretext of recovery of dowry articles . Our bank accounts at Baroda were frozen by the I.O. Three times police remand was taken . We  remained in police / judicial custody for 29 days before getting bail from Addl. Sessions Jdge Jind. My son had to be hospitalised at Rohtak by Jind jail authorities & he first became 100 % handicapped  & later died due to a cardiac arrest during the pendency of the case . Session Court Jind framed charges against us . The case was decided in our favour by Punjab & Haryana High Court on the grounds of jurisdiction & other merits  .

COMPLAINTS :- There after , the complaints against the then SP Jind , case I.O and others were made to NHRC New Delhi , Lokayukta Haryana , DGP Haryana and Finacial Commissioner & principal Secretary Home Haryana etc. . Enquiries conducted by four different DSPs , one SP & an IGP confirmed that a false  case was registered against my family  . SP Jind was issued warning letter , DSP Jind was charge-sheeted  , five annual increments of case I.O were stopped with permanent effect. Ex daughter in-law was declared as a proclaimed offender   u/s 182 IPC by Jind Court . Complaints to PM , President MHA , CM Haryana , Grievance cell , State Governer  & Amnesty International etc  were not very effective but complaints to NHRC New Delhi , Lokayukta Haryana were effective .

COUNTER CASES :- A complaint case u/s 203 , 219 , 220 & 120B IPC was registered  in Baroda Court against the then SP Jind , the case I.O , my ex daughter in-law , her mother & father and her two maternal uncles . In a separate case , her father is  facing trial at Baroda in making telephonic threatening calls & charges have been framed against him u/s 387 & 506(ii) IPC. The proceedings at Baroda have started in both the cases against the accused . Against my TEP, Income tax Dept. of Ahmedabad has also attached  her father’s properties   .

APPROACH  &  PROCESS:

A). DOCUMENTS  TO  BE  COLLECTED  AFTER  MARRIAGE
1. Matrimonial Biodata given by the family of the girl /copy of News paper ad.
2. Marriage invitation cards of both the families .
3. Photographs of engagement & marriage.
4. Video of engagement & marriage .
5. Copies of all marriage related purchase / Hotel bills &expenses , paid  by your family . Preferably , make  payments   by  cheques  only . Even  later , all  your assets be purchased through your cheque or credit card & against
6. Any letters / cards sent  by the girl to boy before & after the marriage .
7. Any letters & of good time , by her parents & joint photos with her .
8. Rail / Air Tickets, photos and hotel bills of the couple for their honeymoon
9. Voter  I  card , PAN  card , Driving  License , Passport  and  her  Bank account  statement immediately after the marriage .
10. Her  school  & college  leaving  certificates ,  educational and professional certificates .
11.Her  employment  details  in  the form of  a job resume duly signed along with  the last salary slip .
12. If she is employed , know her employer and friends .
13. Copy of her Income Tax return , if applicable .
14. Copy of her Mobile Bill / customer application form(CAF).
15. Maintain  a  diary / directory having names & addresses of her close relatives  friends & employer etc with their contact numbers.
16. Keep record of registration Nos. of vehicles owned by her family & also find  details of any loans taken by her father .
17.Copies of  life & health insurance and property documents in her name if any
18. Her Medical treatment record  after marriage .
19. Copies  of  Voter cards , Ration card , Property tax & light bill of her parents   & IT return copy of her  father for the year when she got married
20. To prove your presence/ location  , you must retain all your petrol & Tel.bills, Air ,  Rail , Bus & taxi travel  tickets ,  Hotel bills & passport stamping etc .
21. To avoid future implications , joint Bank account , FDs / Lockers be
22. Don’t ever accept any cheque payment from your in-laws .
23. After desertion of your wife , change your banker & mobile service provider.
24. Get a certificate from your LPG kitchen gas Co. that your kitchen has enough  safety measures in case of accidental gas leakage .
25. Get a certificate from a qualified Architect that two way locks are fitted in all  doors & kitchen has an open passage with out a door .
26. Copies of her E mails , letters & phone calls records .
27. When she decides to leave you & wanted to take her belongings , it will  be in  your  interest  to get  a  signed  receipt  of  the items / jewellery  collected  by  her  & countersigned  by  her father/mother /brother etc. . A report of  her desertion should be made  to your local police station immediately .
28. Maintain contact with the local SP/DIG/IGP/DGP etc. & give them in writing  that you fear false 498a from your wife .
29. All correspondence/letters be sent by Regd. AD / Speed Post AD . Retain the postal receipts & AD form.

30. On getting information of her filing a 498a case , avoid arrest & get Anticipatory bail for all the family members .

31. At this stage , if you have information about her filing a 498a case , you go to hiding as the process of law can start only after service of summons and or Warrants . Don’t   use your mobile & hand  set , switch it off . Get anticipatory bail through some good lawyer.

32. Make use of RTI Act 2005 to obtain information from Govt. Agencies.

33. Install a call ID instrument to your landline instrument & in case you get call from your FIL / MIL or BIL , register a threatening cases.

34. Be careful while talking to your in-laws / wife on phone/mobile as your call might be recorded.

35. Avoid conflicts , remain cool , positive, have courage & state facts which can be proven . Be courteous but don’t pay to police as it will not help .

36. In false cases of 498a / DV, the girl’s mother play a very negative role for various considerations including GREED .

37. Don’t become emotional & get black mailed .Work logically & systematically . Be mentally prepared for accepting the future troubles & Expenses.

38. Try to acquire knowledge about the process of law in 498a from various NGO websites , court judgements , CrPC , IPC & D V etc .

B) DOCUMENTS AFTER REGISTRATION OF FIR BY THE WIFE :

  1. Copy of complaint ,FIR & statements recorded u/s 161 CrPC .
  2. Read the FIR thoroughly . List out allegations & the sections of IPC ,stated in the FIR and start collecting evidence documents to counter them .
  3. Copy of Bail order .
  4. Copy of case file to be obtained through your Advocate .
  5. Copy of police case diary(Jimnis) , Rojnamcha for the days of regn of FIR & arrest , under RTI Act.
  6. Copies of call details of your all mobiles & land line phones for the month  when FIR was registered .
  7. To know the background of the case I.O , you may obtain copies of pending Deptt. Enquiries & held in the past against the I.O under RTI Act 2005 .   Don’t sign any confessions or statements to the police .
  8. Prepare a document covering date wise sequence of events & index of evidence documents held .
  9. To get knowledge , down load “Bare Acts” – IPC , Cr PC & Dowry Act etc Onus to prove ur innocence lies on you . Collect documentary evidences .
  10. During this period , must have some liquid cash , have sufficient talk time in your prepaid mobile and keep few sets of dresses ready and shift ur valuable articles in your bank locker . Don’t wear gold .If arrested,carry some cash with you which will help you to buy daily needs in jail .
  11. Keep stock of your daily use medicines , carry a pack of biscuits & mineral water bottle with you on ur court dates and carry only photocopies of your case documents . Your well wisher must know your whereabouts .
  12. Make a Tax Evasion Petition to the concerned CIT/ITO against your Father in Law & attach a copy of the FIR and other evidence documents .
  13. If your wife got a passport made during case litigation , you may make a complaint to the concerned Regional Passport Officer against her for suppression of facts & getting her passport impounded .

CAUTION – Don’t show or discuss ur evidence proof with the case I.O. Make sure that you have an evidence to deny each point of your opponent’s allegation / claim .

C) MOST COMMONLY USED ALLEGATIONS BY WIVES

  1. On demand , having spent huge amount on marriage by her parents .
  2. Further demand of cash , AC , Two wheeler & a car etc.
  3. A big list of dowry articles not returned by the in-laws .
  4. Beating by husband & in-laws .
  5. Attempt to murder .
  6. Confinement .
  7. Threatening .
  8. Taunting , Abusing & ill treating etc .

D) KNOW THEM

  1. As per the allegations made in the FIR ,establish the jurisdiction of the case. Jurisdiction can be her parental place , place where marriage was held , place where demand or cause of action had occurred or place where she last resided.
  2. You know the traits of your wife , pre-empt & take safety measures.
  3. Local Police Station , the SHO , SP & DGP .
  4. An experienced Advocate .
  5. Understand the process of law .
  6. Have at least one person who can always stand by you , with whom you can confide & share your case status with him.
  7. NHRC New Delhi ,your State Lokayukta & PIOs & the Application Fee etc.
  1. Income Tax No./ward/circle of her father .
  2. Certified Hand writing expert .
  3. Know your rights in case of arrest , bail , appointing advocate & appeal etc.

U ONLY KNOW THE TRUE FACTS OF THE CASE . TAKE PAINS TO COLLECT EVIDENCE DOCUMENTS . IT IS A PROCESS & START IT NOW . DON’T GIVE UP & LOSE HEART AS THESE EVIDENCE DOCUMENTS ONLY WILL SAVE U FROM LONG TRIAL /CONVICTION.

E) SOURCE / COLLECTION OF EVIDENCE DOCUMENTS:

  1. YOUR SELF :Matrimonial biodata / Newspaper Ad , both side invitation cards , engagement & marriage photos and  video , marriage related purchase & function bills , honeymoon travel tickets & hotel bills , letters & cards etc sent by her before & after marriage , copies of her PAN card , voter card , pass port , Dr. license , bank account statement , school & college leaving / education certificates , income tax return , mobile bill , health & life insurance her medical test reports & prescription file , name & address along with  contact numbers of her close relatives , friends & employer.These documents   should be collected when she is residing with you.
  2. Retain your petrol bills , Phone / internet & news paper bills , Air / Train bus / taxi travel tickets etc and hotel stay bills , asset purchase bills & all other bills and copies of your ration card , voter I card , Dr. License and sr, citizen cards of your parents . Try to make all payments by cheques .
  3. When she is staying with you , try to obtain copies of her family ration card voter cards , bank account number , PAN & IT return of  her father property tax , light & Tel. bill copies etc.
  4. Use of RTI Act 2005 can  be made for obtaining information /documents from the PIO of the concerned Govt. Agencies including police . They may deny  information on the  plea of third party information but you can still try in the capacity of her husband or father in-law .There is nothing like success as it is self motivating .
  5. Efforts can also be made to procure documents through your connections in concerned Govt. Deptts. You can always  link , who will guide you .
  6. Proper evidence documents in your support will make your case strong against the prosecution .

EMPHASIS IS MORE ON EVIDENCE AS U NEVER KNOW WHICH OF THE ABOVE DOCUMENTS WILL BRING CHEERS TO YOUR FAMILY. NO BODY ELSE CAN DO IT BETTER THAN YOURSELF.

                   “IT IS NEVER TOO LATE , START NOW”

Fighting for 7 years….still no Justice! Truth of 498A

A personal sharing from a False 498A Victim. There are lacs of families suffering from gross abuse of this law and this is how ..

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The false police complaint of Dowry was filed by the Wife of my elder brother in Dec. 2006 in PS. XXX in Ludhiana. Then started the process of police calling us to police station and subsequent filing of FIR without even trying once to send the case to women cell for counseling of the couple.Although the case has been said to be investigated by DSP level police officer but we were just asked to give our statements in police station and then FIR was filed as per Girl’s statement. No one bothered to verify whether the complaint is genuine or not.

Then, we were just running from one court to another till Honorable Supreme court granted the final bail in April 2009. Around 50 dates (Assuming 1 date every month which comes out to be 60 in 5 years) and not much substantial has happened during this period. The complainant is a Lawyer herself in the same court although now she wrongly claims not to be practicing currently. She is still a member of Bar association of the same court. Her mere objective is to prolong the case in the court by misusing the process of the law and get the money out of my brother. To further this cause, she will either move unnecessary applications or new cases or will simply absent herself from proceedings of the court. Whereas my family has been very much punctual on each and every date. (Editor’s Note – This is the common phenomenon in all cases where this law is abused. The complainant does not appear on the dates and keep prolonging the case until a compromise is reached which usually means in financial terms. This is exactly what is known as “Legal Extortion”)

My senior citizen parents travel 200 KMs every month, sit all day in court and come back with a new date. Only few months back, my mother was granted permanent exemption from court appearance due to her ill-health. My father already has undergone cancer treatment but still he is regularly appearing in the court. I belong to a middle class family in XXX, Haryana. My Father and Mother are retired government servants. My Father retired from Haryana civil secretariat and mother from XXX. The case mentioned here might be the most common issue of Indian society and I might be simply one ordinary Indian citizen but the fact that I want to bring to your notice is that me and my family have been suffering for last more than 7 years because of nothing wrong done by us.

The only mistake my parents did was to marry my elder brother to a wrong girl. I am writing on behalf of my family who is looking for Justice before it is too late. Already no hope is left due to the kind of one sided women laws which give benefit to only the girl even if she herself is defaulter in the relationship.

My brother was married in Apr. 200X and his marriage lasted for 4 months only. The girl is an arrogant and short-tempered person and did not adjust to the family. She left the home in November 200X for ever. In 200Y(after a year), she filed a complaint against my family under dowry and domestic violence act. In the meantime, she gave birth to a girl child. My family never asked for dowry and never tortured her mentally or physically but the justice is still far from us.

It took us two and a half years to get my brother’s bail finally from Supreme Court after rejection from lower court and High court. High court granted bail to my parents but not my brother. In 2009, the case in lower court started for hearing( 3 years after the case was filed!!!) It’s been 5 years and around 50 dates have happened but marginal progress has been made in the case. My mother is 68 now and father is 71. The case was filed in lower court of XXX, Punjab. My brother and my parents visit the courts on every date without any failure. ABSOLUTELY, nothing happens in 80-90% of the hearings. On the other side, the girl either doesn’t come up or intentionally come late so as to harass my family and delay the proceedings. Nearly 2 years back, the evidence process for the complainant started but when the girl realized that she had been grilled by defending lawyer in the cross-examination, she has been delaying the completion of her and her brother’s evidence proceeding. She moved few unnecessary applications in the court and a new case of Domestic violence was also filed after 5 years of filing Dowry case whereas she was not staying with my brother during this period.

On other side, Girl had filed separate case of maintenance u/s crpc. 125 in YYY lower court (Distt. XXX) in year 2007 which is nearly 300 Kms from our home town. This was again done to harass us and get the benefit of filing in separate court. Here she was getting interim maintenance of Rs. 5000/- from my brother since year 2007 and the case was finally decided in year 2012. Just to harass and pressurize my brother, she would often come to his office and keep calling his office where he was working. Due to this case, he was already under stress and was not able to focus fully on his job and on the other hand, she was also creating problems for him in the office. Then, one fine day, the organization forced him to quit his job. Now, he is jobless for last 2 years. Still, there is no respite for him in the court. The girl didn’t disclose in XXX court that she was getting maintenance from YYY court and demanded maintenance in her new filed case of Domestic violence also where the judge simply ordered awarded her maintenance of Rs. 10000/-. Now, how should my jobless brother pay this money to her? Is there anyone to bother about his miserable life and my parents problems which they are facing due to a misuse of our law by a cruel girl?

Although, I understand that it may not be mandatory for a girl to show up in court every time but doesn’t that mean that she is not at all interested in solving her case? Doesn’t that show her casual attitude towards law and that she is literally playing with it? I think court should be hard against such people who are wasting court’s time and spoiling others lives.

We are now on the verge of losing our hope in our system. I understand that Judges are also loaded with the cases but what about all those precious years of our lives which we are losing to fight a battle which we feel we don’t deserve to be punished with. Is it really wrong to expect a case to progress a little in 5 years? It will be totally acceptable if the case is progressing and We find that we will get a fair trial and not just one sided law will be forced on us. Let the RAY OF HOPE be alive in our lives. I would conclude my letter here because more I explain, more it will be cumbersome.

From the bottom of my heart, I would request you to give some attention to my issue. My parents are suffering from this issue for last 8 years and now they believe it to end with their death only. Can I as a son, see my parents happy some day? There is a girl child who is 7 years old now and has never seen her father. Her future is being spoiled in this process. Please save her future also.

 

 

MR. PRIME MINISTER – Old Age parents are pleading for DEATH and your ATTENTION

Every year, thousands of senior citizens both men and women get arrested under trumped up cases of Dowry in India. At stake is their reputation, good will built over a life time in the society and worst – money they saved for old age. Their mistake in most cases is – a failed marriage of their son. In my understanding and experience of working on this issue till now, in most cases, parents have to part away with large sums to settle the case and many a times their property too. Laws and Judiciary is so biased that in order to give relief to one woman(whose claims might not be genuine at all in most cases) , lives of many is jeopardized. Here is a letter written by an old age man to the Prime Minister of India seeking some relief from immense trauma and pain because of a case filed by his daughter in law after 6 years of separation –

 

Respected Narendra Modi Sahib,

Hon’ble Prime Minister of India,

New Delhi.

SUB: APEAL FROM SENIOR CITIZENS OF YOUR COUNTRY

Respected Sir,

Every Indian is feeling proud to have you as Prime Minister of India. Everybody is expecting so much from you. It looks like Sun of injustice is going down and Sun of justice is getting heights. This time Indian people have chosen you instead of your party i.e., BJP hence it seems you will deal with the problems of the country seriously and we wish GOD will bless you with success in achieving your goals. One of the biggest problems of the country these days, is misuse of laws made for suffering and deprived women of the country. These are 498 A, Domestic Violence etc.

These laws nowadays are not used for justice, but are used to settle scores with the in laws or are commonly used to grab property of in- laws. As per court records, more than 90 % of cases are fake and are not used to address the actual problems of the family. Congress has been a threat to our culture and family values during their rule. We have lost our SANSKRITI due to Congress only. Laws were made in such a way that the family system is getting destroyed. One or all members of the families are engaged with Police or and courts these days because of misuse of these laws. These laws are being used by daughter-in-laws to grab hard earned money and property of Senior Citizens, which they have earned during the course of their lives so that they can live peacefully in old age. We feel like living in hell and no government department is helping us because of the motive of women empowerment.

We want to share our bad experiences with you in brief: Image

I am retired Govt officer, Senior Citizen (Age 67 years) and my wife, a housewife living at C 12/412, Yamuna Vihar, Delhi-53. WE have worked hard throughout our life to have a peaceful life at this age. When we are at the last stage of our life, our daughter- in- law has framed us in false/fabricated Domestic Violence case. Our elder son is serving in Indian Air Force and our daughter-in-law stayed with him wherever he went for posting. Now, since 2007 she has been staying with her parents (During Jan., 2005 to Nov.,2005 also, she stayed with her parents) and, in 2012, she filed a case for false/fabricated Domestic Violence case against us. She is doing all types of ill practices to grab our hard earned property. She is getting full support from her family members especially from her brother who is an Army Officer (Major named C_____________) This man Army Officer is threatening our fundamental rights of living, by using his designation to influence Government departments to work in his favor.

We have approached every possible offices and officials of India but none of them finds this problem big enough to look in to it. We even approached Hon’ble President of India for justice, and requested him if he cannot help us then please give us the permission for MERCY KILLING, may be that is the only way left to prove our innocence.

Laws made for woman are misused commonly these days. Even Hon’ble Supreme Court has addressed it as LEGAL TERRORISAM. Because of these laws, families in India are falling apart. People irrespective of their ages and gender are falling prey to these laws. Misuse of these laws is on the rise as a incurable disease. Suicide cases are on the rise because of this disaster. There are official datas available supporting our statements.

In the end, we request you however to please see our plight by getting the needful done. If we are found guilty, we should be punished but if we are not found guilty then our daughter in law and her family should be punished as per law. There is a serious need to take some preventive measures to stop misuse of these type of laws. Here are some suggestions from our side:

1) There has to be a control over police, they take such cases as money making machine. Harder the law more is the income. This makes misuse of law a great possibility

2) A lady can frame a whole family in 498 A and DV. If the family is not found guilty then the petitioner framing false case should be punished equally. This will encourage only genuine cases which will save time and money of the Government. This will also help inreducing misuse of the law.

3) WOMAN COMMISION should be controlled and governed by women who are living a successful family life, rather than women with disputed family background.

4) LAWS made for suffering women are making women suffer, because other than daughter- in- laws there are ladies in the family who fall prey to the ill practice. So, if we are looking for women welfare, then ladies from both ends should be considered. Definition of“deprived suffering woman” should not be taken as daughter-in-law only. It is very strange that Saas, Bhabhi, Nanand, Chachi, Mami etc. other ladies are not treating ‘MAHILA’ by anydepartment.

5) Laws should not be gender biased. Any body found guilty should be punished under provisions of laws irrespective of his caste, gender and position in society.

This letter may kindly be acknowledged and hoping to receive a constructive reply by way of actions having been taken to help Senior Citizens, under which, they have been placed by daughter-in-law and her brother Major C____________.

Thanking you,

Yours Faithfully,

Date:01.06.2014

(Shakuntla Sharma) (Devi Dayal Sharma)

Adress: C 12/412, Yamuna Vihar, Delhi-110053

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Here’s another one of the same kind where an old man pleaded for mercy killing: http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-01-30/ranchi/36635451_1_dowry-case-mercy-petition-army-man

Footnote: 

Section 498A of IPC has been anointed as the most abused law in the Indian Judiciary…. Perhaps more than TADA/POTA. Supreme Court has recorded it as ‘Legal Terrorism.’ Lacs of men and their families have been ruined because of this law, as it assumes a person guilty on mere allegations by a married woman. The law has become a tool to settle scores in case of a marriage gone wrong. Old grannies, ailing fathers, children, pregnant sisters, young boys have been arrested without any iota of evidence in many cases.  More than 22 Lac people have been put behind bars in last 15 years only that includes 5 lac women. There is no other law ever in which so many women have been Jailed. Despite several observations by our HCs, SC, the law remains the same on the statute and terrorism continues. Several people have killed themselves at the altar of this law.

I am directing a documentary film – Martyrs of Marriage – documenting lives of people who have suffered at the hands of this draconian law. 

Stories shared on this blog are by victims of abuse of this law. Writer does not take any onus of authenticity of these stories. Names have been kept confidential to avoid revealing any identities. If you are a media house who wish to connect with these people, kindly write to us at martyrsofmarriage@gmail.com 

HEAD ON with a FEMINIST by a false 498A fighter

We have heard time and again age old rhetoric used by feminists on TV debates and elsewhere. While they pom pom the data (that serves their own purpose) collected and developed by organizations that have deep vested interests in these statistics (fund generation, creation of more and more biased laws) , they completely ignore the malaise that is FALSE CASES that have literally choked the Indian Judicial system. What they fail to understand is – thanks to false cases by unscrupulous women, every case of dowry is now looked at with suspicion. Here’s an absolutely brilliant conversation of a false 498A fighter who happens to be a Phd in biostatistics, with a radical Indian feminist (Must read for anyone who presents other side of the dowry story in Media). The questions in this conversation have been raised by the feminist after the fighter wrote to her about his own false case and the situation in the country as of now. 

Feminist: You have chosen to adopt a view of society and legal system – all based on your personal experience alone. Understandable maybe, but not correct or justified nevertheless. 
 
Fighter: Don’t we all adopt a view of society based on our “personal” experience? Did not Ambedkar become the champion of the Dalits he became because of his first hand personal experience as an untouchable? Did not Bhagat Singh and the entire litany of freedom fighters plunge into the freedom movement because of their “personal” experience of the ignominy and shame of living under an imperial regime? I think it is not the point  whether one is having an opinion based on a “personal” experience. The point is, is the opinion based on sufficient reasonable, rational, logical, verifiable facts. It is for this reason I did the analysis of the data to see if my experience is reflected by the hard data. And what I found is , it does. 
 
Feminist: Have you researched the degree to which other laws are abused? Have you also researched the degree to which women who face violence inside the home, are unable to get justice or even the barest minimum of protection – resulting in countless injuries and deaths of women in domestic violence situations? 
 
The awareness about crime against women is a given reality today. After the nation-shaking protest during the horrendous Nirbhaya rape case in December 2012, the reality that many of our women are not safe in the roads as well as in homes is common knowledge and an accepted fact. All these gender-biased laws (which only let women file cases and bring allegations, but gives the men no such opportunity) only vindicates the fact that even in the highest levels of our polity there is awareness and acknowledgement of crime perpetrated against women and a desire to address this. 
 
A research is more meaningful when it tries to look within a contrarian point of view and see if there is any dimension other than the perceived and majority accepted “reality”. A research to reinforce a point of view already accepted and addressed, will it be of much use?
 
Feminist: If – as is the case – all laws are ‘abused’ and used, both, then why focus your angst on gender related laws alone? Are women the only ones filing false complaints? Do you have any idea of the huge number of innocents implicated in false cases in other crimes? Does that make us discuss theft or murder or other crimes in the same way we discuss women related laws? 
Image
 
Isn’t the first question akin to faulting Mahatma Gandhi for taking up the cause of the oppressed Indians in South Africa and not the Blacks? Why did Ambedkar take up the cause of the Dalits and the oppressed but not the economically poorer sections of India (of which there were several millions?) 
 
The other thing is- it is true that all laws are ‘abused’. 
But there is a fundamental difference between gender-laws and other laws: 
 
1. Gender-based laws (especially 498a and PWDVA) are non-bailable and cognizable. How many criminal cases are there which has these two properties? 
2. How many criminal laws are there in our country by which one can be arrested on a mere allegation without the support of any prima facie evidence? If there are such laws (perhaps AFSPA), do you support these laws?
3. If I allege somebody has stolen my purse, will the police go and arrest that accused just like that? If there is an allegation on somebody of murder, will there be an arrest without any initial investigation? On the contrary for 498a cases, the moment there is an allegation, the police arrives at the doorstep of the men’s house and arrests him and all his relatives (including his mother and sisters). How many parallels to other laws of such provisions?
 
Please try to understand, that the extreme urgency and pro-activeness shown by police in these cases stems not from a genuine desire to provide justice. But these cases provide the perfect opportunity to the police (and I must add the lawyers) to extract money from both the parties (perhaps some more from the man, but also from the woman).
 
Feminist: I do not doubt your genuine sense of grievance – though of course I have yet to know your wife’s version of the facts.
 
I will be more than happy to provide you with all the details of my case, as well as the contact information of my wife. The reason I have not mentioned her name in my email is because the purpose of my last email was not to vilify her, but just to share a story perhaps not that heard in all the din surrounding women’s issues. Just as it is not right to take away the right to life and livelihood of perhaps a smaller group of tribals from their land in the name of “development” and “growth” of the majority, similarly, though it is true that men face injustice far less than that of women, it would be extremely insensitive and unfortunate if not inhuman if the injustices faced by several thousand innocent men are not even acknowledged but buttressed under the popular narrative of “crime aganist women”. 
 
 
Feminist: Still, even accepting that the complaints against you were false and motivated, please acquaint yourself with the lived reality of the vast majority of women in society – before speaking so confidently and arrogantly of ‘the truth’ of gender related crimes! In the vast majority of domestic violence cases, women are trapped, and DO NOT file complaints even after being battered to the point of risk to life and limb. 
 
This logic sounds eerily familiar to the military hawks of the White House justifying the loss of innocent lives in drone attacks in their pursuit against the “terrorists”. Just because I am a man, does that make me an acceptable target – what in the American military lingo can be called as “collateral damage”?
 
My point is not that the women of my country are not facing a hard time. They are. I personally know many such women. But my point is that these laws, the way they are framed and used today, are hardly helping these women. Slowly but surely the awareness about the misuse of 498a is increasing. There are more and more observations from different High Courts and even the Supreme Court how these laws are used for “legal terrorism”. If this continues, I am afraid in a few years, even the real cases will be construed as false.
 
Then there is another aspect. It is extremely easy to invoke these laws and slap these cases with little fear of punitive actions for false and damaging charges on the women even when it is proved her charges are false . This makes it even more dangerous even to the girls who files 498a cases. Most times ( okay if you do not agree, “many times”) these cases are filed in a fit of anger and rage. May be the men and his relatives are arrested. The woman feels elated perhaps, to be successful in bringing about the harassment that she wanted to in her rage. But then the Men and his family comes out on bail, and the cases languish for years in the courts. And two lives stand ruined with almost no chance of reconciliation. Once these cases are filed, there is almost no possibility of rapprochement.
 
It is not my point that we should not have laws to protect women. It is needed. My point is that the laws as they stand now is hardly helping the women, and certainly bringing a lot of pain and harassment to many innocent lives. Can’t we be more imaginative and innovative and draft laws which will be less liable to be misused and as well be able to protect the truly abused women? Is there no way we can be a little more sensitive to the gross injustice faced by some citizens of our country, whose only “crime” is that they are men? 
 
Footnote: If you wish to share your story of abuse by false 498A, write to us at martyrsofmarriage@gmail.com