If you are about to get married and girls parents are pushing things really really fast, BE ALERT!!! The story below is the most common drama that happens whenever there is a problem with the girl or her past or present. Pressurizing for a quick marriage for xyz reasons. Most common issues – had a boyfriend, parents disapproved so marry her wherever fast | history of psychatric disorders where minimum interaction happens in courtship period ( boys like fools think they are getting a chuimui girl who is very shy) | she is pregnant and they need to cover it up by marrying her asap | her boyfriend is a goon and won’t let her get married (usually they insist on every damn ritual in another city in that case)
See i am not asking you to be scared of marriage. But if you GET THE SIGNS, don’t ignore them! Read on…..mail by a young martyr of marriage
I had an arranged marriage with an educated girl ( a software engineer)who pretended to be normal in every manner. I met the girl in …… 2012 and her family persuaded me to get married as soon as possible stating that the girls younger sister also had to be married after the elder girls wedding. Due to this the marriage date was fixed just three months after. In the 3 months prior to our marriage the girl kept her interactions with me to a minimum. She always avoided meeting me giving several excuses that she was busy with office work.
I did not suspect anything and trusted the girl and her family completely. This was my biggest mistake.
I even planned a week long honeymoon trip after the marriage.
As soon as the marriage ceremony was completed my wife started showing her true colours and behaved in a very abnormal manner. She completely stopped interacting with me. She told me categorically that she was not interested in marital life and having any physical contact. She said that I must not even hold her hand!
This came as an absolute shock to me and my parents. When we discussed the matter with her parents they responded without any surprise and said that we must take her to a marriage counsellor or psychiatrist and get the matter sorted and that it was not their problem.
These remarks and attitude of the girls parents set alarm bells ringing. We realised that the girl had pre existing psychiatric problems and this was known to the family. they had deliberately suppressed the information in order to get her married off.
Nevertheless we consulted a well known marriage counsellor in ***&****. I was trying to stay positive and hoping the it would be a minor problem.
Unfortunately we found out that the problem is deep rooted and that such problems do not get solved. (The counsellor who is a highly qualified and experienced professional informed us that she has seen many such cases and that such girls are either asexual or schizophrenic and are not interested in marital life).
We also got further independent opinions from 2 other psychiatrists who gave us the same feedback.
This prompted us to take legal advice. Our lawyer told us immediately file for divorce. In the meanwhile my wife decided to leave the house and stay with her sister.
We sent a legal notice asking for a mutual divorce.
Her family has refused to give a divorce and are contesting the case in court. My wife has made several false accusations in her petition that I am a drunkard and a wife beater and that I was misbehaving with her. The case is still going on. My wife (he’s still calling her his wife!!!!) is using this case a blackmail tool to extort a huge sum of money from me.
Our courts are overburdened with cases and the prosess is very slow. I am sufferring daily and am always depressed. My family is humiliated and hurt.
The only good thing is that my wife in unable to misuse section 498A as we have taken necessary steps as per legal advise.
I completely empathise with other victims. This is a social evil that needs to be addressed immediately. If we do not take steps to make laws gender neutral, people will lose faith in the institution of marriage.
I do respect and support women. However this trend of misuse of laws is scary and should be curtailed ASAP.
I was speaking to a German friend of mine and she says that Germany had biased laws 3 or 4 decades ago. This led to lot of mistrust and eventual breakdown of the institution of marriage.Youngsters opted to have casual sexual relationships and not commit to marriage. however the German society recognised this and today, laws in Germany are gender neutral. They are now promoting the concept of marriage and family.
We need to learn from Germany’s experience and not repeat the mistakes.
Indian women need to understand that when they get married they are committing to certian obligations. These obligations must be met. (This goes for the men as well)
Disclaimer : Identity protected on request.