A man can DIE but not DIVORCE

After my TEDx Talk I have been flooded with mails by victims of false dowry cases, rape cases, relationships gone bad and much more…..Here’s story of a young software engineer whose career, life, his father’s job are all at stake because he does not want to live with a woman who has caused so much misery to him and his entire family. Identity kept confidential to avoid any repercussion.

***************

Hi Mam,

I  came across through your articles, videos about misuse of 498a on social media & decided to write about my case to you. My name is ****** , age 23yrs. I am from *****, Rajasthan. I am a software engineer.

I & my wife stayed together in ****** for only 16 days after marriage. One day we had some argument because she locked my younger sister & went out for 3-4 hours while I was in office. Next day she called her brother & returned to her home.I tried to communicate her but she changed her mobile number. My parents tried to talk to them but they put some illegitimate conditions ahead of us , main of them are-

1. Fixed deposit of 5 lakh in favor of my wife.
2. I should work only in her hometown or her parental house not at the city we were living in etc etc
I was unable to fulfill their demands because all money we had was spent in marriage & there is no good IT company in *******. I filed Section 9 to bring her back but she lodged complain in Women Commission. Police called us for talk in evening, we requested them to do it i morning but girl’s father refused.When I entered police station Circle Inspector threatened me to satisfy her demands & said nobody will be able to save you. But I refused. Then her father, brother started shouting & police arrested me & my father in Crpc 151 for breach of peace & advised my wife to file the case.
After they filed the case they tried best thing to get me , mainly to my father , a Govt employee to be arrested, as it would result in his suspension. So we left our home & started hiding. Meanwhile I was terminated by my company as I was absent. Lawyers were on strike so my brother in person applied for Anticipatory bail of my parents & we got it. After it they were very depressed as they wanted to send my father jail. Now my wife started saying in the court that she wanted to go back to her husband.
On hearing of my Anticipatory bail Judge tried to pressurize me to keep her with me but I refused. He  became & angry & rejected my Anticipatory bail on ground of my refusal & attitude.
Now everywhere she is saying to come back so I agreed to take her from her home in hearing of 482. When I reached her home. Nobody even asked me to get in their house. Feeling insulted I returned. Next day in High Court  she came in saree with bag & said  she was  ready to go directly from court with me.When I started telling about what happened when I visited her house to take her.  Judge asked me if you want to keep her take her now ” As obvious I refused because it was a drama by her only before the court.
Now everyone is accusing me why I’m not ready to take her back.Nobody listens whatever reasons I give.
I have written a letter to President & chief Justice of India about impact of the grounds of my bail rejection which was My refusal to take her back.
But nobody has replied to me. Now taking example from my case everyone in Rajasthan has accepted that if you refuse to take her back before the cout they would reject your Anticipatory bail application.
Thanks for reading my email And sorry if I wasted your precious time.
**********************
My two cents: Women rights activists say that a woman’s life is more important than the marriage. Her right to divorce paramount and that too with a compensation because it is not easy for a girl in India to get married. I have a Question – then why is it forced upon a man to continue living with his wife even if she is abusive and ill treat his parents and file cases on drop of a hat? what exactly would you call this demand of deposit of 5 lacs as a condition for her to return? Is this not dowry? Why can a man not take divorce in India without having to face 498A , domestic violence act, 125 and many more cases or he continues to be with a person who he does not want to be with ? Is it a cake walk for a family to get their son married again? We live in a highly misandrous society where the blame of a failed marriage is always put on the man. No matter how wrong the woman is, it is she who gets all the sympathy. Moreover, a man who has gone through so much just because of a non workable marriage, he thinks hundred times before marrying again. In this case a boy barely 23 years of age.
Sadly, parents of girls today are so angry for reasons best known to them that they think that the husband and his family are their slaves who they need to manipulate as per their whims and fancies.
If this continues, no sensible young man would marry in this country. We are surely headed for worse times for Indian Women. Cases will only sour and their conditions worse as they expose themselves to a world that leads to justice to apparently no one but the powerful!!
Disclaimer: This is an email sent by the victim. There is no reason for me not to believe this man’s words. This is not one of case but this is happening all across where parents of the girl keep conditions on slightest disagreements. Marriage is a relationship that both partners maintain by mutual trust and understanding and not one putting conditions on the other and making the other a slave. If you wish to share your story with us, write to martyrsofmarriage@gmail.com

One comment

  1. Does an entity hold legal significance if it is mentioned in the books of law ? Yes.

    Does a woman hold legal significance ? Well…..being not a legally qualified , am ware of two GENDER-SPECIFIC laws which can be used only by women: 498a , DV. So, definitely a woman has a legal significance.

    Does a man hold legal significance. Umm..there is hardly any GENDER-SPECIFIC law for a Man, I guess…..So, it seems a man has no legal significance.

    Can a MAN abuse a WOMAN ? Yes.
    Can a WOMAN abuse a MAN ? Yes.

    For a MAN, is there any act to prohibit ECONOMIC ABUSE for him ? No.
    For a WOMAN, is there any act to prohibit ECONOMIC ABUSE for her ? Yes.

    For a MAN, is there any act to prohibit VERBAL ABUSE for him ? No.
    For a WOMAN, is there any act to prohibit VERBAL ABUSE for her ? Yes.

    For a MAN, is there any act to prohibit PHYSICAL ABUSE for him ? No.
    For a WOMAN, is there any act to prohibit PHYSICAL ABUSE for her ? Yes.

    Why so much protection for a woman but not for a man ? I DO NOT KNOW.
    Which is that act that has so much protection for a woman ? DV / 498a.

    About these acts,
    is there any provision to prohibit LEGAL ABUSE against a MAN ? No.
    can this act be used against a woman ? Yes. It is already used against women (for)

    What is going on ? I DO NOT KNOW.

    SO ARE THESE LAWS : 498a / DV , MEAN FOR WOMEN ?
    Well.. lets get the facts clear :

    question : WHO CAN USE THESE LAWS ?
    answer : ONLY WOMEN.

    question : AGAINST WHOM CAN THESE LAWS BE USED ?
    answer:

    (1). Laws of humanity can not be different for men and women.
    (2). Both, men and women are part of each and every family.
    (3). Both, men and women can be virtually k!ll3d, humiliated, put behind bars, made to lose jobs, made to socially get alienated, drown in sea of depression.

    so, analytically speaking, from (1),(2) and (3), its clear that these laws are against humanity, men and women.

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