Still remember the day when I read that mail from organizers of TEDxIIFTDelhi. Couldn’t believe my eyes for once since I have been a fan of TED for very long and love the content they bring to the world. But yes…it was true and right there in front of my eyes. To present everything in 19 minutes when you have spent more than 19000 Hours working on something isn’t easy. But i had to do it and do it with best of my capabilities. I overshot the given time and the clock ticking in front of me is the reason for a very fast speech. My sincere apologies for that. Intention was to cover as much as I could because it’s not everyday that the cause that I am fighting for is given a center stage. The actual talk was about 23 minutes but the video encapsulates almost everything important. What’s not there in the video which I really wanted the world to see is – when I asked the audience if they thought if “Men and their issues were no longer a part of the gender discussion?” I think all hands went up. Probably the cameras were not pointed at the audience so they could not include that part. However, the number of views, comments the video is getting is a testimony that not only those present in the auditorium that day, but thousands, lakhs feel this today.
Here’s the video for those who haven’t seen it : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_2gl7lz25E
I have got some really touching messages, emails after this video. This blog is to put down all those words for world to see.Some identities kept hidden since these are personal messages and I am not sure if they would like to share it with the world. Here it goes….
*****My father is suffering the same . My step mother is killing him each day on court . She is getting entrim releif of Rs 10000 per month from my father to fight against him only ! Its like take this gun and kill me . I there was no me , my father could have lost his expectations . Unko 7 saal ho gae case ladte hue aur wo ye nahi prove kar paae ki my step mother was troubling me like hell . Court me CDs dikha di , Sare proof dikha die .. Hua kuch nahi ….When you spoke against all these ills .. I thought me and my father is not the only sufferrer ****
Sudhir : Get a degree of LLB/LLM to enhance your competencies. You have feelings for a good socio aspects. You can do lots of good as I saw in you a person capable to do affirmatively and positively for reforms in society and to save Indian families irrespective to be gender biased. Bravo Deepika. This is my humble opinion after watching your representation on the floor of TEDxIIFTDELHI. You deserve and can do a lot of good for forthcoming society. Regards, not in words, by my heart.****
**** Didi yaar ….Thank you so much. Not so long ago… people used to thing we are a bunch of crazy fringe groups. Now that picture has changed. Thanks to bravery from people like you. These same people have been forced to think now. I think I have a little tear in my eye somewhere….****
****Thank you for that great effort you took in putting up the video showing inequality. You have made me cry. Thanks mam! Just sharing my story with you because I couldn’t with anyone else.. … My manager was forcing me to get undue favors done. I refused and complained to senior management..I went home that weekend. One week later I was charged under office sexual harassment. 20 people signed me. They had no proof when I asked for. Yes I could have left the office but it would have given the hint I had done something which I dint. I stayed. Recorded all conversation n lastly on 30th Jan 2015 the day my manager left he said, you did that..i did this.. N he took the help of women! ****
****Mai to emotional hi ho jaata hu aapke kaam se. I respect you . I love you as a sister . seriously I wish u be successful . else me and my friends are really scared to get married . thappad se darr nahi lagta pyaar se lagta hai ****
**** Your video is inspiring. Thanks for telling the truth which is really vulnerable. Thanks for following your purpose. World needs people like you who care and who have courage to stand up for those who are neglected and afraid to stand up for themselves. And I’m keen to help in mental health areas for both gender but definitely for men because health sciences haven’t focused upon them.****
****Just wanted to thank you for your speech about “Men – The Forgotten Gender”.I realize the enormous effort, willpower and courage that you have. Because you’re a woman, it’s often generalized that you have to defend your rights, and not to look for the other’s. Thanks, for looking to the other side of the river, seeing things from male’s perspective and actually do something to help this situation ****
**** Ma,am, I am a girl and I congrats you for such good research as in India this is something unseen or unheard on such a big platform. I myself belong to lawyers family background and seen cases of relatives and society where a men is potent enough to lead happily his sexual and family life but his wife was impotent or better say not interested in any family life so after 1 month of marriage she filed a case where she accused all the family members for dowry and also the in-laws children (who were 18 years of age ) that they are behaving badly with her and she is having lot of physical and mental pressure.****
****Why aren’t there more women like you? Also what do you think of modern feminism? Im from the U.S. but sexism against men is so common here too. Im a 18 year old male, but I’ve even though of suicide in my short life myself. Im really depressed. I hate this world, why can’t we be simpler animals where a man takes care of his wife, his wife raises children, and nobody takes advantage of each other. Like most other animals. Finding women like you are the only things that keep me from killing myself at the moment.****
**** am an average Indian guy who accidentally stumbled upon your video in youtube where you had spoken about the rising false cases against men. I must really appreciate you for taking a step forward for being a voice for men. It is so good to see a woman standing for men’s rights especially in a country where patriarchy is strong. Yes WE DO have women’s issues and as an educated Indian man I will never tolerate women’s suffering. But what you are doing is something which everyone neglects (including our TRP hungry media) – pointing out misuse of dowry law for petty gains. You made a right analogy with the WOLF story. Sure, there is a long history of women’s suffering in India no doubt but two wrongs don’t make it right either. I am really grateful for your wonderful speech and it really restores faith in humanity in me. At least there is a woman who doesn’t get carried away by the constant MALE BASHING, MALE DEMONIZING media or the pseudo intellects who might be scoffing at you for raising an insignificant case (I am pretty sure there must be because the world isn’t fair). Thank you once again, and I do wish you find success in your endeavour !****
Would add more as an when I find something that I should really share ………
This is what’s been written about the video and places it got featured-
Thanks everyone who’s a part of this journey that’s just begun! Thanks IIFT for making this possible. Thanks Abhishek for finding me. Thanks Save Indian Family. Thanks Jyoti, Uma, Swarup, Amit, Ritwik, Suresh Ram, Rajesh, Sathya, Indu didi, YP jee, families who share their pain with me, many more who I have missed, Neeraj, Ravneet, Rachita, Pranab…Thank you god. Thanks Brent Sir. I am what I am today because it all started with you. Remembering you wherever you are…..