Have felt Suicidal since she accused me of Molestation…

REPRODUCING message sent to me by a young boy falsely accused of Molestation by a girl who he dated for a short while. Some details not disclosed to protect Identity.

Hello Deepika di,

I’m a 3rd year student of the Department of English, XXXXX University. I don’t know how you’ll be able to help me or if you’ll be able to help me at all but please do read all that I’ve written. I recently came across your the videos that you’ve shot in and around the villages of Rohtak regarding the “Rohtak-bravehearts” molestation case. I was overwhelmed by the fact that so many people have actually taken a stand for the innocent boys who have been accused in such a gruesome case. No words can do justice to your dedication in this regard. I cannot thank you enough for exposing the real side of the story. Also, I know that since you live quite far from Kolkata it’s not possible for you to do something regarding the matter which I’m about to address to you at the moment but then please do take note of this.

During my second year in college I was falsely accused of stalking and molesting a girl whom I was dating for a short-while. She insisted on furthering our intimacy during the first week of the relationship itself and I refused, after which she broke up with me. I chased her to the far end of the corridor where both the gents and the ladies toilets were situated and caught hold of her hand and said that I wanted to talk to her. She ran into the washroom and I was simply waiting for her to come out so that I could talk to her. She didn’t come out, instead she called up a girl who happens to be her senior and told her that she is trapped inside the bathroom because I am waiting to stalk her outside the washroom. So that girl came rushing in and took her away. I was dumbfounded. I had no idea as to what might be coming towards me. Later that week I got a call from the head of the sexual harassment cell of our university. On the other end of the phone was Professor P******* (head of the cell). She said that a molestation complain has been filed against me and that I had to meet her immediately. I was shocked. I couldn’t speak for the rest of the day. I went into complete depression because there was nobody I could seek help from. Because if I had told someone that something like that has been filed against me then they would have never taken my side. Luckily I had all the Facebook messages between the two of us saved and I had also clicked a photo with that girl on the first day we had met. So I explained everything to the professor and also told her that I have proof that I wasn’t guilty. Hearing this she let me go but later on I found out that the girl went around telling people that I have molested her. She does that even today. Being a guy I feel helpless and I only rely on the fact that people who actually know me will make their own judgement about me as well. A few months later that same girl was accused of Sexually molesting a classmate, forcing two people to have sex and she also stole 1000 bucks from another classmate. She disappeared from college for the rest of the semester and no action was taken against her.

I study in a college full of teachers and scholars holding a PhD from Harvard, oxford, Cambridge and yet see their mentality.

There must have been many other such cases here which go unheard of because no guy would want his reputation or his career to go down the drain. I don’t know if I should cry for help or just live with this situation because to tell you the truth, I feel suicidal at times because of this. Please do reply to this. I don’t seem to have much hope left.

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If you have been in a situation like this, or any of your friend, write to me at martyrsofmarriage@gmail.com. MORE IMPORTANTLY SPEAK UP. Suicide is not the solution. Yes there are very few who believe a man if he is falsely accused. It’s not the fault of people but fault of mindsets that refuse to see a man as innocent and presume them to be sexual predators and perpetrators of Crime. I understand what a person goes through when accused of a crime that he did not commit. BUT SUICIDE IS NEVER THE OPTION. Be strong. Raise your voice and never feel shy of telling people what you have gone through. Just because you are a man, do not hide your pain. Help is available. Just look around. Share. Speak. Shout. But don’t feel guilty of something that YOU DID NOT DO.

3 comments

  1. The only thing i can do for you to say that if you are true , never feel suicidal , and i mean never ever. Stay strong , you are not the one who did wrong , do not listen to people who think of you as a bad person , your heart knows , your god knows , that is it.
    After all in the end of the day , it is all between you and your god, and i bet you can surely confront your god because you have verity in this case, but you will never able to confront if think of suicide.
    Stay strong 🙂

  2. It is happening all around .In fact,Indian men desperately need Prevention of sexual harassment of MEN at any place. I have been the victim of same mindset.

  3. Dear Deepika,
    You are doing excellent work by with your hard day efforts. Plz accept my appreciation for the same.
    However, i just wish to point out a tiriviality. in the above blog you wished to protect the identity of the narrator and yet let his location slip out in the 8th line of the first para.”quite far from Kolkata”… Im sure it was an honest slip, and non fatal in the current context. However if in any other case you really have to maintain he secrecy of anyone’s identity, I am very sure that you will also not let such slips happen.

    Regards
    Lalit

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