Month: December 2014

A Marriage that never happened….A Nightmare that will remain Forever!

This is a true account shared by a young boy who would think hundred times before getting married now. They say a bad experience scars a woman forever. What about a Man? Isn’t he scarred forever? HE IS. Not only emotionally but financially too. All this because of our laws that presume a man guilty no matter how innocent he might be. Read on how a marriage that never happened left a man scarred forever………..

Marriage & Divorce

Almost a year back…

I respected girls, and I respected the institution of marriage. I always tried to be a better guy and always looked at good examples, as to how to treat your life-partner. I always thought that I’ll give my best to that relationship. But later.. It turned out to be bad for me.

My parents were looking for a girl for me, and we got introduced to someone through an acquaintance. We met the girl, and her family. We never believed in dowry so we didn’t ask for it either. My parents also respected the girls family and were very supportive everywhere. I belonged to a middle-class family (now by god’s grace we are in upper-middle-class) and had seen the struggling time and the girl was relatively from upper middle class. I was honest before everything was finalized. like while talking, I clearly told her that we manage expenses carefully and do not overspend. She said she can manage easily and she also values money and doesn’t waste.

The courtship period started. We started chatting and talking on phone. Slowly as we got comfortable talking to each other, the girl started asking for stuff. Stuff as in, valuable gifts. She indirectly told me that she needs a laptop. Then she started hinting about mobile phone. And one day she clearly asked for it. After discussing with my parents, I decided to gift it to her, on the day of engagement. My parents said it is okay, husband has to manage expenses so it is okay to gift. I gifted her a very expensive phone. I do not spend this much on phones even for myself, but I spent for her.

Next week I went home and got some time to spend with my parents. I got to know from them that the girl’s mother has been asking for a lot of jewellery lately. (In Indian marriages, the groom’s family is supposed to gift gold jewellery to the bride). I was surprised to see that my parents had spent much more than we could afford. I know financial capacity of my family and I know how many savings would my father have used to get this jewellery. I objected. I wasn’t comfortable with the way girl’s family was demanding valuable stuff. But my parents said that I am their only son so they want to do their best. For them, it was like once in a lifetime thing, so they accepted it.

We were now 3 months away from the wedding. Their came another bill from the to-be-bride’s family. Total amount *** Lacs INR with a list of items that they wanted to buy with that amount. We have a tradition that the groom’s family buys clothes for the bride but we were not prepared to spend so much as they demanded. We were already spending way beyond our capacity. It did not stop here. Whenever I expressed myself at all of such huge expenditures she used to ridicule me, my mother too and call our family named. I felt really humiliated but did not know what to do as things had already been fixed.

If all this wasn’t enough, the family exchanged the jewellery we gifted to them on engagement. As they thought it wasn’t great. I had had enough and felt really pissed after seeing all this. We brought the mediators in and informed them of what was going on.

They called up the girl’s family to discuss the matter further and guess what. The girl’s father brought 30-40 people of his family to my place and started creating a scene on the road in front of our house. He started yelling that we were demanding dowry and abused my parents and my family in front of everyone. We had all the proofs that it is we who had spent so much till now and that they were lying but, that’s the day I realized how biased our laws are. I realized even if we are innocent no one would listen to us but to them as soon as they even utter a word about dowry. I had to keep quiet and bear all the abuse along with my family. Everyone else also advised us to do so.

The relationship had of course soured.  Though everyone knew who is at fault , the girls father was pleaded to calm down. Why? Because if he had filed a case of dowry, my parents would have been behind bars in no time. He dragged the matter for 60 days and threatened to file a dowry case every day. Every day in the morning he would agree to have a peaceful meeting and by the evening he would change his mind. My parents ran for their life for 15 days, as he had threatened to do physical harm. The worst of all was that I couldn’t be with my parents during this time, because he had threatened to harm me too, if I come to my home. At last, they took *** Lacs INR for compensation, in the name of engagement-ceremony bills which was not even half of the expenditures they claimed from us.

We had to give in to avoid the trauma of a protracted legal battle where he would have married off his girl easily to someone else while I would have remained with a scar of dowry seeker until I came clean from the case. I never thought marriage could be such a horrible experience. I never thought this could happen to me. I wanted a life partner but somewhere I think it’s good that this happened, at least I got to know about the laws of my land that leave no option with a man to prove his innocence even if he is not at fault. An ‘FIR’ seems like a very simple thing to people, but those papers can cost someone his and his families life for no fault of theirs.

This chapter of my life is over. But the Nightmares remain!!!

Disclaimer: This is a true account. The person who has shared this story can be reached if requested. He did not want his identity to be revealed in Public. If you wish to share your story with us, mail us at martyrsofmarriage@gmail.com

Image Courtesy: Google

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Acquittal After EIGHT YEARS!!!! Who pays for HIS LIFE RUINED? Who punishes for the LIES?

He has been acquitted of a CRIME he never COMMITTED. His children are a testimony to his innocence. Because of one vengeful woman, a man has been completely ruined – stripped off his dignity, his parent’s dignity, peace of his life above all TIME that he would never get back EVER. Father of three children, son of aged parents, a MAN, a FATHER, a SON – his pain is never talked about or discussed in this heightened atmosphere of WOMEN SAFETY.

While media goes MAD after every report of a dowry case, or a dowry death case, ACQUITTALS are not a charm for anyone. Shame on media that has propagated so many LIES in the eyes of Public that everyone around the world thinks that my country doesn’t have MEN but DEMONS as Men who are out there preying on women as if they have absolutely nothing else to do.

Anyways,

Read up the Judgment. Read THE BLATANT LIES TOLD.

Read how Justice Shiv Narayan Dhingra and his judgments still are GOLDEN WORDS written for innocents in these cases.

Read how a man and his family has been thrown out of their own home as the woman has control over matrimonial home.

Read how a man is taking care of his children along with his mother.

READ HOW OUR LAWS hold no authority to punish or even scold a woman for being such a WRECK.

Read how LIES are told in 498A FIRs – concoction by the lawyers – to the extent that they write the woman’s parents gave 60,000 to the man despite the fact that her parents were DEAD at that time. Read how a family that merely earned 2300-3000 rupees claimed that they spent 6 lac rupees on wedding.

READ READ READ and PITY our LAW MACHINERY. Here’s a PDF attached of the Judgment, Click on the link below:

Sunder Lal Acquittal 8 years

Have felt Suicidal since she accused me of Molestation…

REPRODUCING message sent to me by a young boy falsely accused of Molestation by a girl who he dated for a short while. Some details not disclosed to protect Identity.

Hello Deepika di,

I’m a 3rd year student of the Department of English, XXXXX University. I don’t know how you’ll be able to help me or if you’ll be able to help me at all but please do read all that I’ve written. I recently came across your the videos that you’ve shot in and around the villages of Rohtak regarding the “Rohtak-bravehearts” molestation case. I was overwhelmed by the fact that so many people have actually taken a stand for the innocent boys who have been accused in such a gruesome case. No words can do justice to your dedication in this regard. I cannot thank you enough for exposing the real side of the story. Also, I know that since you live quite far from Kolkata it’s not possible for you to do something regarding the matter which I’m about to address to you at the moment but then please do take note of this.

During my second year in college I was falsely accused of stalking and molesting a girl whom I was dating for a short-while. She insisted on furthering our intimacy during the first week of the relationship itself and I refused, after which she broke up with me. I chased her to the far end of the corridor where both the gents and the ladies toilets were situated and caught hold of her hand and said that I wanted to talk to her. She ran into the washroom and I was simply waiting for her to come out so that I could talk to her. She didn’t come out, instead she called up a girl who happens to be her senior and told her that she is trapped inside the bathroom because I am waiting to stalk her outside the washroom. So that girl came rushing in and took her away. I was dumbfounded. I had no idea as to what might be coming towards me. Later that week I got a call from the head of the sexual harassment cell of our university. On the other end of the phone was Professor P******* (head of the cell). She said that a molestation complain has been filed against me and that I had to meet her immediately. I was shocked. I couldn’t speak for the rest of the day. I went into complete depression because there was nobody I could seek help from. Because if I had told someone that something like that has been filed against me then they would have never taken my side. Luckily I had all the Facebook messages between the two of us saved and I had also clicked a photo with that girl on the first day we had met. So I explained everything to the professor and also told her that I have proof that I wasn’t guilty. Hearing this she let me go but later on I found out that the girl went around telling people that I have molested her. She does that even today. Being a guy I feel helpless and I only rely on the fact that people who actually know me will make their own judgement about me as well. A few months later that same girl was accused of Sexually molesting a classmate, forcing two people to have sex and she also stole 1000 bucks from another classmate. She disappeared from college for the rest of the semester and no action was taken against her.

I study in a college full of teachers and scholars holding a PhD from Harvard, oxford, Cambridge and yet see their mentality.

There must have been many other such cases here which go unheard of because no guy would want his reputation or his career to go down the drain. I don’t know if I should cry for help or just live with this situation because to tell you the truth, I feel suicidal at times because of this. Please do reply to this. I don’t seem to have much hope left.

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If you have been in a situation like this, or any of your friend, write to me at martyrsofmarriage@gmail.com. MORE IMPORTANTLY SPEAK UP. Suicide is not the solution. Yes there are very few who believe a man if he is falsely accused. It’s not the fault of people but fault of mindsets that refuse to see a man as innocent and presume them to be sexual predators and perpetrators of Crime. I understand what a person goes through when accused of a crime that he did not commit. BUT SUICIDE IS NEVER THE OPTION. Be strong. Raise your voice and never feel shy of telling people what you have gone through. Just because you are a man, do not hide your pain. Help is available. Just look around. Share. Speak. Shout. But don’t feel guilty of something that YOU DID NOT DO.